Tale of a Colonoscopy

First I want to say I am a strong believer of Jesus Christ and prayer. In the course of my ailment it took lots of prayer to get me through the situations that I went through. One of those situations was my colonoscopy.

After a week in the hospital and under the care of a colon surgeon (that's a story in itself), he refers me to a digestive system specialist. After the usual look over and some questions from my new doctor, he recommends a colonoscopy within 2 weeks. To shorten this part of the story, I wanted and requested a later date. This plan kinda back fired on me cause my procedure was then scheduled for the Monday after Thanksgiving which means prep starts on that Sunday. So while I'm trying to enjoy Thanksgiving I'm thinking about colonoscopy stuff.

So what's the big deal? You see all of this stuff is new to me I have never been in the hospital, had a procedure done or been put to sleep. Not only that but I was having a series of problems like swallowing, gagging and sinus drainage. My major issues were under control for the most part at that time. OK lets start with the prep stage which requires the taking of 2 pills and the drinking of a solution (the solution is to help you empty out your intestines) the day before the actual procedure. Swallow 2 pills yeah right! What else do you have? Well how bout a 4 liter solution to drink 8 ounces at a time in 10 minute intervals. But wait, it comes with flavor packs: cherry, pineapple, lemon lime and orange! I often heard this stuff was horrendous but it couldn't be that bad if you get your choice of flavors right? Wrong!

So after my prayer and hoping I would not threw this stuff up when I drank it, I waited for my first glass full at 4pm. 4pm comes and I carefully pour my pineapple flavor solution into a measuring cup to make sure I didn't drink one sip over the 8oz dose. I walked into the bathroom, stood over the sink and proceeded to drink it fast (the directions recommends to drink fast). Let's see if I can describe this stuff: it was slightly thick in consistency, kinda salty/irony with a very faint taste of pineapple flavor. Yuck! I rinsed my mouth and sat down for a minute stunned by what I had to swallow and before you knew it, it was time for another 8oz. Geez. So I proceeded to go through the same routine again. Thank God in heaven as I drink through 2 liters of this stuff I had no problems.

Let's get to the procedure (I prayed that everything would go well). Side note: Doctors have to be the only occupation that can give you an appointment, make you wait 45 minutes in the lobby, call you back to put you in an exam room and make you wait another 15 minutes (then charge YOU a fortune). Anyway, I get called to go into the back. Beds are everywhere filled with people and lots of noise separated by privacy curtains. My nurse tells me to go into the bathroom remove everything but I could keep on my socks. She went on to say put the hospital gown on, the cap and the booties on over my socks. I nervously followed her instructions. Feeling helpless I walked out of the bathroom and was escorted to a bed. My second concern is the IV. I have always had a problem when it came to nurses finding a vein but God spared me this time of the fishing for veins scenario. So at this point I am trying to relax but I guess I wasn't doing a good job because my blood pressure was a little high and the nurse told me I looked like a deer caught in the headlights of a car. With my heart beating fast, I'm thinking this "go to sleep IV" ain't working cause I am nowhere near sleepy.

The nurse comes by and says roll over on your side please we are getting ready to roll you back for the procedure. I said to myself oh crap I still wide awake and if I roll over I am going to have a swallowing gagging moment! I rolled over having no episodes we entered the operating room. Looking at the equipment I was asked my name. I blinked my eyes and woke up in the recovery room. The nurse tells me the procedure required that we place air in your colon so prepare to start farting (actually she said you will feel a little gassy). As soon as she walked away sure enough I am playing the butt tuba along with a few other people in the recovery room. The doctor comes in later, tells me there's nothing serious going on in there and his office will be calling me in a few days.

To end the story prayer works and God is good!